Are you worried sick as a parent, by your adopted teen’s problems, such as:          Failing or bad grades in school, despite their ability                                                      Engaging in risky behaviors, such as substance use,           premarital sex          Truancy          Extreme anger          Running away          Choosing friends who are a bad influence?                                                                                                                   Does your adopted child experience:         School problems         Neediness, insecurity, fears         Difficulty following family rules         Hoarding food or other eating problems         Impulsiveness         Temper tantrums Please join me for these Adoptive Parent Workshops: Sept. 20:  Who Am I on my Family Tree?  How to Support your Adopted Teens' Search for their Biofamilies Oct. 4:  Healing Adoption Wounds:  with the Healing Power of Transformational Psychotherapy™ Click the dates above to learn all the details!         Problems bonding with your           family                                                                                      Difficulty receiving comfort when upset? Does your adopted child or teen have significant challenges with            Depression            Low self-esteem            Feeling abandoned            Social isolation or apathy            Feeling fearful about the future much of the time            Feelings of grief or sadness that don’t seem to lessen,             no matter what you or others do to offer comfort? As an adult who was adopted as a child, did you have experiences like these?            Do you feel somehow different or not the same as others in your family group?                      Do you experience feelings of depression, grief, fears or insecurity that linger in the background of your life, even though outwardly, you may appear to be “fine” to others?                      Do you get angry easily over little things and wonder why?

As a parent of adopted children,  do you frequently feel exhausted     from all the stress and turmoil that never seems to end?     Do you sometimes feel like you are at the end of your rope?   If you relate to these challenges and issues that children, teens and adults in adoptive families go through, then you or your children may be experiencing the after-effects of adoption-related trauma.  Adoption is a wonderful blessing for children and families; a wonderful blessing born out of wounds.   Those wounds don’t go away automatically, once a child has been placed in your loving home, or once your adoption has been finalized.   They linger inside the adopted child or teen, and they can show up in all the ways described above, and often more! Adoption-related trauma wounds affect your child or teen, you and everyone else in your family.   To one degree or another, everyone in your family is touched by these wounds.    No wonder it may sometimes feel like the turmoil is all encompassing, and never ends.  No wonder you may be feeling exhausted or at the end of your rope too much of the time. Now there is hope and healing for the wounds of adoption You and your children don’t have to suffer with the emotional pain, and family turmoil of adoption any longer.   You and your children can now release the impact and lingering effects of a painful birth experience or early childhood. Your family can become happier, and more peaceful. Your family relationships can become easier.  Your adopted children and teens can come to peace within themselves, as they release and heal their painful inner wounds and memories.   You can release the exhaustion, worry and turmoil you feel as a parent. Together, you and your children can create a new foundation for personal happiness, feelings of security and self-worth, more success in school, in family relationships, creating healthy, uplifting friendships, and in so doing, create a new beginning for success in all areas of their lives.

“Our family has tried everything we could find to help our adopted kids. Some things help a little, but nothing we have found so far really makes much of a difference." I understand your frustration and concern. It can feel discouraging and disheartening when you have sought out all kinds of help, and your child or teen is still feeling so much pain, having so much difficulty, and your family is still experiencing so many struggles.  Many of my adoptive family clients have felt the same when they started working with me. They often feel like they are at the end of their ropes! As they begin their programs, my clients quickly begin to release the pent up hurt, pain, anger, disappointment and feelings of being cheated from the life they dreamed of. What’s more, through their sessions, clients release and heal the root causes and underlying reasons for their adoption wounds.  Steven's Story Steven*  was 14 when his parents contacted me to help their son. He was failing in school, didn’t keep promises at home or at school, lied, felt chronically depressed and had starting hanging out with new friends whom his parents thought were a bad influence.  As Steven and I worked together, he was able to heal the grief he had felt since early childhood due to moving away from his birth country, and losing all contact with his biological family.   He was able to more easily accept and trust his adoptive parent’s love, and came to feel that he belongs in his adoptive family.  His grades improved, and after some challenging learning experiences, Steven learned the value of being honest, even in difficult situations.  Steven uncovered an inner anchor for his sense of identity, and with that his self-confidence and self-worth improved.   With time, he changed his group of friends, and his parents no longer worry about their influence on him. Steven’s mom and dad learned new, effective ways to release their own stress, worry and exhaustion, support one another, as they learned new strength-based, asset-building means to support Steven in his own healing journey. His parents came to see the inner truth in Steven that he had discovered about himself, and so began to view their son in a new light, which supports his healing and growth.  Today, Steven has successfully completed high school, and is nearing graduation from a junior college. He is successfully working, and preparing to transfer to a regional four-year university, where he plans to complete a degree in graphic design.   He has been seriously dating his girlfriend for over a year, and they are considering getting married. *Client's name has been change for privacy and confidentiality.  As we work together, children and teens are healed from the painful experiences of their births and early childhoods. Their painful feelings of depression, grief and loss, and all those behaviors they use to help themselves cope, can be relieved, and in many cases, healed. As they progress through their programs, adopted children and teens learn to trust, believe that they belong and that the world is now a safe place, because they feel safe and have a feeling of belonging inside of themselves, often for the very first time.  Adopted teens discover within themselves the intrinsic truth of who they are, and find a new perspective on their life experiences – a perspective that brings them peace and helps them find a new source of personal identity. They discover strengths and resources within themselves, that many never dreamed they had. In discovering their inner truth, they also connect with an inner source of self-worth and self-confidence.  With more self-worth,  other areas of their lives change too, including improved relationships with other family members, improved school performance, self-motivation, and choosing new healthier friendships. “Wow! This is exciting! Why haven’t I heard of this before now?” The methods I use in Transformational Psychotherapy™ have been around for over thirty years. They are part of an exciting and rapidly growing newer school of psychotherapy that together is termed “Energy Psychology”. From beginning in the holistic arena, these methods are quickly becoming better known by conventional psychotherapists.    Energy therapy methods are also gaining recognition and more wide-spread use for their benefit in large scale disaster relief, such as hurricanes, floods, or man-made disasters, such as school shootings. This is because they are very effective, very quickly.  Want to learn more about prenatal and early childhood experiences, and how they contribute to your child's most difficult problems,  or more about Transformational Psychotherapy™?   Go to my Articles page, and read the articles entitled,  "Healing the Limiting Effects of Your Earliest Experiences" , "Introduction to Energy Psychology", and "Rapid Eye Technology ~ A Unique Unparalleled Healing Method Creating Lasting Change".

“What’s a ‘Relationship Therapy specialist’ doing, also specializing in adoption therapy?” The connection is in the fact that, in their essence, adoption wounds are wounds in relationships, specifically trauma-initiated relationship wounds.   I have been a relationship therapy specialist for over twenty years.   The most common theme for those who seek out my help is trauma of one sort or another.    Healing trauma is my greatest specialty and deep passion.  My journey of healing my own adoption experience was what led me originally to the methods I use in Transformational Psychotherapy™, so I know from my own life the transformative power and impact they offer.  My life and family relationships are now gratefully and happily healed.   Because of this, I have a particularly tender spot for assisting other adoptive families and adoptees, as I have done for the past fourteen years.    At the heart of Transformational Psychotherapy™ is my expertise in specialized therapy techniques that are: Based on our understanding of trauma and what happens in a person's brain and body/mind when she or he experiences trauma understands how this diverts and interrupts normal growth and development, including   Impairing the ability to form secure attachments Creates a shaky personal foundation, interrupting forming a stable sense of self Negatively affects learning Disrupts the ability to have healthy, functional relationships Robs adoptees of being able to live a happy, fulfilling life.   Using Transformational Psychotherapy™, adoption-related trauma wounds can be released and healed.  Once that is accomplished, many of these challenges adoptees experience can also be healed or greatly reduced.    During my professional career, I have worked for public and private adoption agencies in Georgia and Colorado, as an Adoption Specialist or Birth-parent Counselor.  I previously conducted home studies for many years, including the newer SAFE home study process.                                    “We adopted our  daughter as a teenager, five years ago.  You have been a lifesaver for her!  She is now thriving.  Working with you assisted her to bond with our family, which she so deeply wanted. You have made the difference for our daughter in healing abandonment, neglect, illegitimacy, low self-esteem and much, much more.  She is a lovely young woman, with a bright future. I don’t think I could have made it through the first three years as her mother without your help – for me too!”   LT  Boulder, CO    My enthusiasm for working with adoptive families and adoptees lies in sharing the hope and healing I have found, for your adoption wounds.   I know countless others who have experienced similar healing.  Now, so can you and your family.            Are you ready  to find hope and healing  for your family’s adoption wounds? I offer a limited number of low-cost Initial Consultations, including an insightful Visioning Worksheet self-assessment and brief laser coaching, for adoptive parents, and teen and adult adoptees who are serious about healing their adoption wounds, and creating more peace and happiness in their relationships and families. Learn more about an  Initial Consultation,  and how to schedule yours.   From my office in northern Colorado, I work with clients from through-out the state and country, in person as well as via phone sessions.     Warmly, Debra   Debra Gordy, MS MRET Transformational Relationship Therapist

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