Like many divorced women, do you ~      WONDER how to find a great guy, after 35?        WORRY that all the good men are already married,        or else looking for younger women?       WANT TO LEARN the secrets for how to make a second marriage work?       YEARN to find the keys to a happy marriage?   Or, are you afraid to start dating again?                                                        Do you find yourself making excuses to stay home?   Do you tell yourself and others that you’re too busy with work or your children?  Do you privately feel dating after divorce is too risky?    What is the Relationship Roller Coaster? Often a divorced woman goes from her painful marriage that didn’t work, to additional painful relationships or marriages. Along the way, she accumulates more and more feelings of pain, frustration, anger, rejection, confusion or dejection. She may ask herself in frustration, WHY can't I get out of this cycle?” She may jump into relationships too soon, getting involved with men who are bad for her (or her children) while ignoring her inner knowing and wisdom, OR she may be afraid to even try, hiding out behind her work, her kids, or other activities.  Either way, she is in a pattern of struggle in her intimate relationships.  The more she struggles in this pattern, the more established it becomes, until a woman thinks her situation will never change, and so she often quits.   She may leave another relationship, or get another divorce.  Or a divorced woman quits trying to create a happy marriage when she decides to live with the pain of her relationship struggle cycle in her unhappy relationship, (often thinking that's all she gets to have in this life) or else she may quit another way, by getting out of the dating scene altogether (often thinking she's better off being alone).   Two tracks, one roller coaster ~ The Relationship Roller Coaster.   A woman in either situation may be stuck  on the Relationship Roller Coaster.  Until she finds and heals the underlying reasons  for her particular struggle cycle,  she is prone to keep repeating it.

Do you know divorced women like this?   I do.  I have known hundreds of them.    As I have listened to divorced women, and helped them step out of their struggle cycles, it is striking how similar their feelings and experiences are, even with the unique features of their individual stories.  For several years now, I’ve been drawing upon what I’ve learned from the relationship struggle, yearning and successes of my clients, and from getting off my own Relationship Roller Coaster, to assist other women to achieve their dream of a happy fulfilling marriage.       empowering divorced women like you    to step off the Relationship Roller Coaster &  create your own Cinderella story.      "Happily Ever After!  is a forward-thinking, well-rounded program for finally understanding and exiting our seemingly endless cycles of relationship pain, and replacing them with cycles of fulfillment and conscious relating.   It has the potential to heal not just the relationship struggles we've experienced personally, but inter-generational ones as well.   Debra’s use of transformational methods is very exciting and promises a faster route toward living from that cleaner, clearer place.  Kudos to Debra for creating this program;  I await her forthcoming book, Cinderella Wisdom:  Five Secrets for Creating Your Dream Marriage in the Real World, with eager anticipation!" Dr. Jasmine Roloff, JSD  CLC, CWC Life Coach San Francisco, CA Healing your broken heart, and getting over       your painful divorce is just the beginning.      I will also help you uncover the personal resources and learn the skills you need so you can CREATE A REALLY GREAT MARRIAGE.     You will: Complete the steps of divorce recovery Learn how to rebuild your life after divorce         Uncover fresh new energy and discover a new personal foundation that comes from within you for a healthy new relationship, (or a healthy new start in your current one). Discover the SECRET to creating your dream marriage (it's not what you probably think!) Learn the recipe for a happy marriage   Learn proven, practical and easy-to-use self-care and relationship-care skills to step out of day-to-day relationship struggle, and live happily ever after in the real world!

“Will I have to dredge through all my painful memories?”    You may be feeling worried that you will have to relive a lot of painful experiences, right? Others have had that worry too. My clients have found their work with me to be largely pain-free. Once in a while a client experiences some brief emotional pain; this is rare and the exception. In that case, I assist her to easily and quickly release her painful feelings.  The methods I use do not leave clients feeling emotionally exhausted, frazzled, tender, broken, or fragile inside after an appointment. Quite the opposite happens, in fact; as most women progress through their personalized programs, they feel increasingly refreshed, reinvigorated, stronger and more resilient, on all levels, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.  Many women find their physical health and wellness also improves. It shows in their physical appearance.   It is not uncommon for clients to naturally lose weight as they are working with me, and more than one has looked noticeably younger, to the point that friends and family commented. One client even told me her friends were asking her if she had had a facelift! After a few sessions, one client excitedly exclaimed,                “I have lost ten pounds and two dress sizes without even trying, since I started working with you!”  Another commented at the end of a session, " I alway feel so comfortable and secure with you.  It's amazing how in tune you are with me, and how you always help me find the reasons for my pain and struggle.  I always feel completely safe, knowing you will help me release everything I need to, so I feel full of energy and happy at the end of my sessions.  I can't imagine doing this without your help!"

Are you looking for couples therapy with your spouse?  My program, Creating Joy for Couples, may be just for you!  This distinctive, exclusive program does not substitute for Happily Ever After!   If you and your spouse are serious about healing your marriage, contact me about scheduling one of my limited Initial Consultations. “Does this take a long time?” I understand, when you are in emotional pain, you want your life and your relationships to be different NOW. I sure did, and all of my clients have felt the same in the beginning. Many clients have found they begin to feel better, with less hurt, anger, depression, guilt and so forth, very quickly; within one to two sessions. This is the beginning of a client’s progress on her journey to achieving her dreams.  Considering that it takes most women some time to get to the point where they are ready to reach out for help, it also takes some time to get off the Relationship Roller Coaster. That being said, most women have found that the work we do together yields real benefits more rapidly than anything else they have ever tried to heal their relationship pain.   Years ago, when I was stuck in my own relationship pain and struggle, I wanted my pain and my challenges to be healed QUICKLY. One of the prime reasons I designed Happily Ever After!  the way I did was to incorporate healing methods that facilitate rapid and yet profound healing. I also use similar methods to assist you to create your new Inner Foundation for a happy marriage. After only four sessions, one client excitedly told me,  “My boyfriend is becoming a different person! He is paying attention to me. He is being kind and considerate, and doing things for me that he hasn’t done in years.  Always before, this would last for maybe a few hours at the most.   It’s been days now, and he’s still changing. I’m amazed!”

“How is what you do unique in helping me become happily married again?” I was inspired to synthesize the learning and wisdom of over 25 years of my professional and personal searching, growth and experience to design an elegant, holistic individual therapy program that guides divorced women through the steps of divorce recovery;  and then goes beyond to find and heal their own specific and personal underlying reasons for their patterns of relationship pain and struggle.  It’s as if together, we go on a treasure hunt to find these hidden causes, and once we find them, we heal them.  Finding and healing them truly is a treasure, because in their discovery and healing, you unlock the first two keys to a happy marriage, and being able to co-create your own real-life Cinderella story. Unlocking the gate to these two keys is priceless in itself! The third treasure is discovered through uncovering your own Inner Foundation.  Uncovering the third treasure is even more priceless, because doing so turns the third key to a happy marriage within you, empowering you with those personal resources and skills you need to be able to co-create your happy marriage in the real world.    Unlocking these three keys has made all the difference for countless women, to finally be able to write their own real-life Cinderella story.    I was inspired to combine this and more into Happily Ever After!  so women everywhere can create the marriage of their dreams. Having personally traveled this path, I know the journey firsthand.  I am now happily living in my real-world dream marriage, and so can you.

Are you ready  to solve your relationship problems for good  & write your own real-life  Cinderella story? I offer a limited number of low-cost Initial Consultations, including an insightful Visioning Worksheet self-assessment and  brief laser coaching,  for women who are serious about:  Getting off the Relationship Roller Coaster Ending your relationship problems  Creating a happy, new marriage.   Click here to learn more about the Initial Consultation process,  and how to schedule yours. From my office in Northern Colorado, I work with clients nationwide, in person or via phone sessions.    Warmly, Debra Debra Gordy, MS MRET    Transformational Relationship Therapist

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